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I guess its that time of the month!

  • Feb. 3rd, 2008 at 10:34 PM
Me
Honest to god.. It isn't even funny how moody or whatnot I can get. Sometimes when someone is talking to me I just want to say to them "Shut the fuck up! No one cares.", But then again I wouldn't want someone doing that to me. I don't know, Things now a days are alot more blurry then what they were when I was just starting to think of my future. Now that I have actually begun to work towards my future, I stop and think, What the hell is the god damn point! I mean really. We pretty much go to school from when we are kids, until we are young adults.. then we start working towards becoming adults and getting a good job. For what, so we can sit there earning money to buy things we don't really need until we die.

Thats all that is happening, we pretty much are sitting there waiting to die. Sometimes I wonder to myself, I could walk out into the street and it would be all over. To me there really isn't a good reason why I shouldn't. The only real reason why I don't is because I have been told its wrong and blah blah blah.

Whatever, I will probably just keep writing these every now and then, but for now that is it.... to be continued.

Great Night, followed by Great dream!

  • Jan. 24th, 2008 at 12:12 PM
Me
  Ok so last night me and my roomies went to the mandarin.. the one on Eglington and yonge... Not gonna lie.. such a long walk just to find this place. There were twists and turns and random things all over the place.. it was pretty messed up. But anyways we had a couple drinks there and some dinner it was really good.. and then after we got home I was asked to go the Crews and Tangos and it was alot of fun. We went and danced up a storm and a guy kept looking at me.

then as the bar was closing and we were leaving, a guy comes up to me and starts staring at me and giving me this look.. and wasn't ganna happen he wasn't my type at all.

But as we got home I jumped on msn and started talking to the really cute guy I know and after all the hiding from him and avioding him he still wants to meet up with me and whatnot.. so I figure why not and yeah. I went on webcam so he could see me and it was really sweet and nice.. and I had a dream that we were together and he was really nice and cute and adorable. and Treated me like I was gold. It was the best dream ever.

Anyways.. what I am saying is dreaming and reality are alot of fun. lol I hope he comes out next week. Crossing my fingers.

Loves ya hugs.
  • Location:my bed
  • Mood: cheerful
  • Music:dance with myself

I have random thoughts and dreams

  • Jan. 18th, 2008 at 11:15 AM
Me
Well as my title clearly states I have random thoughts and dreams... I know random can be a good thing sometimes but other times it can just be a pain in the neck.  For example alot of my dreams consist of me Dieing in one way or another and then having everyone cry or have no one cry.

I don't know what thats suppose to mean but I am pretty sure it has somthing to do with me dieing at a young age... because I am not really sure how to explain it.. but I feel like I will die at a young age. Call is ESP or somthing along those lines,, but all my dreams when I die.. I am alittle older than I am now. and I am always the same age. It is really kind of starting to freak me out a bit, because I don't want to leave all my friends behind... but on the other hand I wonder what it would be like. Would there be the bright light, or the stairway to hell.. or would I just leave my body and slowly float around watching and observing.

Either way I am very intreged by this... It is probably in my nature, because ever since I was a kid I was always wondering what would happen if I did this or that. It was my curiousity that got me into trouble.. I had a minor brush with death a couple times because of curiousity or stupidity. But if you really think about it, curiousity is just wondering what would happen if you did somthing.. so wouldn't it really be alot like stupidity, if you don't know what will happen how will you know its stupid and so on.

But sometimes when I lie awake at night and stare blankly off into space I wonder.. what would the world be like without me? Would people be happier, would my brother be an only child.. or would my parents have another child.. maybe a girl, who knows. Or what about my friends.. would they have gone on to live lives like they have if I weren't there.. or would they be doing somthing else. Sometimes I truely wish I could find the answer out for myself.. but other times I think why, why would I want that.. I don't know why I want that.. I just think it would be another part of life to explore.. because as many people say Life is just the beginning.

anyways have a good day everyone. Hugs and kisses.

Somthing thats been on my mind

  • Jan. 16th, 2008 at 12:02 AM
Me

Well, this is a bit of a toughy... I am pretty sure I found out a secret. If I am right it is a pretty big one.. but I am not sure what I should do. Should I say somthing.. or should I just keep it to myself... Being in this position really sucks.. I have only had to do it once before, and that was only inderectly... but it was still pretty bad. 

On my side I could say somthing and then the secret would be out.. out to do whatever damage it is going todo. Or I could just let it go and forget that I ever found it out, and if I did that.. It would be almost as bad as the secret itself.

If anyone has advice about this kind of situation please let me know.

Have a good night everyone.

First day off from classes

  • Jan. 12th, 2008 at 12:43 AM
Me

So today was an interesting day, to say the least. Me and my roomie Jacob went up to the school to take care of some business. And when we got there, the smell from the convenience store called my name.. I know I sound like a tool but whatever lol.. it was still calling my name. So after I had bought my food and met back up with Jacob, we had decided to head back home after talking with Greg about killing chickens. I know random.

So anyways we are heading home on the subway when I see this lady wearing a leopard print faux fur jacket.. which I found to be quite amusing, because the day previous I had seen a man wearing the same coat.. never the less the man looked way better in it then the woman lol.

So back to the subway we are the subway and I keep seeing this lady staring at me, which reminded me of the day before where this asian woman had been starring at me, and I couldn't help but say in a loud voice, "Can I help you with somthing?" which she had nothing to say in responce. So instead Jake had looked at me and said, "Alex! You can't just say that to someone on the subway, your gonna get us shot!", which I replied "Oh yeah what she going to do!". Never the less she had nothing more to say or look at.

So pretty much the whole thing was leading up the the asian lady and it was a good hoot and a half.. and I don't regret it at all. But we managed to get home unharmed and we shall for the next good while.

  • Mood: creative

The first day of College.

  • Jan. 8th, 2008 at 1:43 PM
Me
Well let me just tell you.. College is nothing to joke about! I have seen people running to get to there classes and pushing people out of the way so they aren't late... Its a mad house. And trying to get your OSAP paperwork taken care of.. Don't even try, they have a line going out the door and down the hall. Its crazy beyond belief. But on the plus side I did meet a couple of cool people today.. One that goes by the name James, and the other goes by the name Andria.

I love how you get a schedule for school and then for some reason the teacher will change it.. doesn't really matter why they are changing it, just that they are.. I caught a lucky break because my teacher shortened one of our classes by 30 min.. that doesn't seem like much.. but instead of waking up at 6:30 I can wake up now at 7 am which is nice. 

But thus far.. I have been doing pretty well. I have done alot of participation today.. whether it was talking to a friend on how stupid the teacher is being.. or just generally answering some questions.. For one of the assignments we did in class no one from my group wanted to talk. So they elected me to do it.. more like volentold lol. But I sounded really smart lol and everyone was like nice answer lol... Our group was the better one.

But anyways as my entry continues to move on by so does time.. which means I am off to do some more exciting college stuff. Till next time. 
  • Mood: drained

Randomness to save the evening

  • Jan. 6th, 2008 at 2:20 AM
Me
Well let me start by saying OMG!!! lol Tonight was a night I shall not forget for sometime lol. Me and my roomie were feeling kinda down in the dumps today. So to cheer us up, our friend Julie came by for some good laughs. We watched the first episode of "the L word" season 5, which was to bad, I suppose.. I don't know there somthing about watching a show filled with lesbians making out that just doesn't turn my crank lol.

But none the less it was still somthing more entertaining then counting the ceiling tiles..... I might have actually prefered that.. but aslong as my roomie and our friend were happy then I was fine with that lol.

So once we were done with that... the bordom slowly washed upon us..... Until Julie pipes up, "Lets good to Crews & Tangos." Which ofcourse I was onbored for, cause common lets face it, there is nothing better to put a smile on your face then to watch fabulous Drag Queens dancing the hearts out.

All in all, between the drinks, the dancing and the great music... We all had a bitchin time slipping away from reality lol. I know one things for sure.. a couple drinks in me and I think I can dance like the rest of them lol. But alas this is not true.. for some reason I tend to dance like a slut.. but hey, its probably just my inner self trying to desperatly break free.

As my entry draws to a close I leave these words of advice... If you are ever in a bad or down mood, and you just need a bit of that sweet realief... there is nothing better than a good night on the town with a couple of close friends, that you hold near and dear to your heart. And just think tomorrows another day, and new challenges await.
  • Mood:I feel my inner Drag Queen